Funny Halloween Quotes – Halloween has been celebrated from centuries this event bring lot of happiness in the faces of people and they forget about all bad happenings and try to celebrate this moment like there is no day tommorow. If you are looking at the place to find Funny Halloween Quotes then you are at the right one.
Here we bring some most funny halloween quotes
Funny Halloween Quotes and sayings
– Jim Samuels
A candy a day keeps the monsters away.
I am guilty of eating candy in cold blood.
I wave my wand and put on my cape and wish you lots of treats and success coming your way. Happy Halloween!
This letter is sealed with a vampire kiss and bite.
Happy Halloween! Time to carve out the pumpkin, bring out the candies and let’s get sugar high
I learned something the other day. I learned that Jehovah’s Witnesses do not celebrate Halloween. I guess they don’t like strangers going up to their door and annoying them.
– Bruce Clark
wow he has grown a well pair of testicles for her girlfriend well done boy!
This is going to be Scariest Halloween Costume Ever
Hair stylist: Gonna wear a costume for Halloween? Me: (Looking at my new haircut in the mirror) Probably something with a hood.
– John Lyon @JohnLyonTweets
These masked trick-or-treaters must be confused. They’re a day early, came in the back door, passed up the candy & took the big screen TV.
Just Bill @WilliamAder
If you’re in Alabama, don’t dress up as a nun, priest or rabbi for Halloween. Impersonating “a minister of any religion” is punishable by fine or jail.
– Nina Vizcarrondo, in Time
When I was 12, I went as my mother for Halloween. I put on a pair of heels, went door to door, and criticized what everyone else was wearing.
– Robin Bach
I awaken in the Halloween aftermath. Bed covered in candy wrappers. Looking down at my chocolate smeared hands I whisper, “What have I done?”
– Reverend Scott @Reverend_Scott
It’s that wonderful time of year again when the spiderwebs I’ve been too lazy to clean become functional decorations.
– Andy H. @AndyAsAdjective
I just asked my husband if he remembers what today is. Scaring men is easy.
– Donna Macabre @Donna_McCoy
Instead of buying a Halloween costume it was cheaper just to get a haircut at Great Clips.
– Northside Hombre @Northside_Mike
Got home, opened the bedroom closet door and a naked guy shrieked at me. Wow, my wife has some pretty crazy Halloween pranks up her sleeve.
– Brian Hope @Brianhopecomedy
A Fargo woman will give overweight trick-or-treaters warning letters, not candy. In other news, a woman’s house will be egged by fat kids.
– Julius Sharpe @juliussharpe
Honey. I didn’t *lose* our kid on Halloween, he just went as the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle and I can’t know exactly where he is.
– Earthman Adam @AdamOfEarth
Funny Halloween Quotes
When I was a kid my parents always sent me out as a tramp: high-heel shoes, fishnet stockings…
– David Letterman
This year I’m the Invisible Man for Halloween, according to this bartender that apparently hasn’t seen me standing here for an hour.
– Terry F @daemonic3
Boss: “I thought I said no costumes this week.”
Me: “These are my clothes.”
– Just Bill @WilliamAder
I put a box of Halloween candy on the top shelf of our cupboard and then watched my 3 year old become an architect.
– Brian Hope @Brianhopecomedy
Aren’t we clever, making the kids go door to door collecting candy for us?
– snowjob @canadasandra